


Hobson's Choice

by Lord_0_Fries



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Emotional Turmoil, Falling (Good Omens), Gen, he's gonna be ok tho i promise, might not finish this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28856739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_0_Fries/pseuds/Lord_0_Fries
Summary: WARNING: SLOW UPDATES!Gabriel... Questions things.***Heads up: spoilers for Good Omens TV show.Also, the actual summary in case I don't finish this fic: Gabriel learns from his mistakes and falls early in that process.Edit 2/18/21: a few words at the end. Oops.
Relationships: Gabriel & God (Good Omens), Gabriel falls (good omens), mother/son relationship - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	Hobson's Choice

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably not the best, but it's probably like the 1st fic i've written that I don't cringe at for no good reason.  
> So here.  
> It's been sitting in my wips for a while haha
> 
> Feel free to tell me about any errors in the text! :)

Gabriel can't make sense of it.

He had been at a loss for what to do since the failed apocalypse.  
Wasn't Armageddon the plan? The end to this war, to put a stop to Hell once and for all?  
He thinks some more. Wonders if this was the Plan at all; if it was ever meant to happen this way.  
He doesn't want to think about it, but the topic always seems to find him.  
Eventually, something else comes to mind- the traitors; Aziraphale and Crowley. How they'd loved Earth and its creatures enough to stop Armageddon.  
That's what it'd been, no doubt about it. It'd been a supernova sun in its intensity, embodying just exactly how much they both were willing to do for Earth.  
What'd caught him off guard was the fact that Crowley was exibiting the very same Love as Aziraphale. He'd thought it impossible; Crowley was a demon.  
If demons can feel love, it means one more thing they have in common with angels*.  
If demons can be good, then...  
What does that say about angels?

%%%

That train of thought had been circling his mind for an eternity now.  
It had made him think. It'd made him wonder what it was he'd done that She won't speak to him about the change in the Ineffable Plan.

It made him feel all the more acutely the silence on Her end, stretching six thousand years in its entirety.

"Mother," he says, "i don't understand."

No response.

"Please. I know i've done wrong, so why haven't you done anything about it?"  
The guilt is eating him alive by this point. Has been, for months, ever since Amageddon-that-wasn't. frustration ebbs in his heart.

Silence dominates the room.

"I've... I've been cruel to Your creatures, you know. I've acted without your permission. Surely my behavior should-" he pauses. Swallows.  
Hurt and guilt, guilt, guilt constricts his throat like a python. "Surely it should have warranted-" his voice cracks- "something. Some kind of punishment."  
Again- nothing.  
Gabriel falls silent. Contemplates, thinks. His sins are heavy, and they claw away at him mercilessly as he ponders them.

He'd tried to kill Aziraphale. Told him to "shut his stupid mouth and die already" at his botched execution, one he'd come up with himself. His heart squeezed with shame.  
He'd been needlessly cruel to him as well, to boot- he thinks back to when he'd belittled Aziraphale's habit of eating. He doesn't even look that bad with the pudge his corporation sports; in fact, it makes him look like him.  
...However that works. He's unsure if that even makes sense.  
Are you even listening? He thinks, completely unbidden, and fear flashes through him before dulling with something like resignition. He prob- no, he definitely deserved to Fall, after all.

"Gabriel."

His eyes fly open, and he finds that he's in the clouds- on them, rather- and not in his office.  
Her presence floods his senses.

He can't help but feel unworthy.

Finding his words, he scrabbles for something to say.  
"Mother-"  
She holds up Her hand, a call for his silence. She looks... Sad. Sympathy is evident on Her face, but perhaps that's dissapointment, if gabriel knows anything. (You rarely do, something tries to remind him. He shoves it down, nearly desperate.)

"I know you are hurting, Gabriel. But this is not a lesson that requires you to Fall in order to learn it."

There's a quick beat of silence. He swallows again- a habit he's picked up from his recent visits to Earth, no doubt about it. He almost averts his gaze.  
She continues,

"You have already made great strides."

"I-I just want to know. Why haven't I Fallen yet? No angel can do what I've done and remain unchanged."  
God tilts Her head. A strange look crosses Her face.

"It is a choice, Gabriel. Falling does not mean you've become tainted, but rather that you've lost your trust in Me."

He doesn't know what to think at this point.  
What does She mean? he thinks dully.  
He realizes that he doesn't... Doesn't what, exactly? He's not sure.  
He doesn't deserve his rank, for starters. He's not even deserving of the title 'angel' anymore. He wouldn't even pass for a halfway decent human.

He bows his head again.

Squeezes his eyes shut, draws an unneeded (but sorely necessary) breath.  
...  
He Falls.

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably not the best, but it's probably like the 1st fic i've written that I don't cringe at for no good reason.  
> So here.  
> It's been sitting in my wips for a while haha
> 
> Feel free to tell me about any errors in the text! :)


End file.
